Tag Archives: trauma


It is my joy to share the excitement of our recent training on ‘Relationships.’  For three days, my daughter, Riesa and our friend Debbie invested our hearts and minds (and bodies) into understanding Relationship Principles that can be visibly demonstrated with horse and human interaction.  I am excited about the content and looking forward to building it into a discipleship model that helps Christians walk out Truths we believe.

In my delight, I wanted to share a teaser glimpse of Lifemanship and what you can expect to read more about in coming months.  As a curriculum/practice, Lifemanship weaves neuroscience, counseling theory, and equine science into the context of free will and building relationships.

Relationships are understood as the basis for whole and healthy living.  God, of course, is my role model for ‘doing life,’ so His way of doing relationship is the only one to emulate.  Lifemanship has captured that in a powerful way.  Every relationship is built on FREE WILL.  Both parties have to choose to be in relationship with one another.  Scripture is clear:  God invites us to connect with Him!

Another principle is that relationships involve give and take.  Committing to a relationship means committing to communication that shares and sticks with requests.  Lifemanship offers principles (tools) to make that happen.  One such principle is mutual benefit:  if something is good for me but not you–it is not good for our relationship!  The life of faith attests to this principle:  God never asks of us anything that is for less than our best…and it gives Him glory when we engage with Him.

Spirit Reins in Texas is a ministry that utilizes the curriculum in a powerful way.  I invite you to watch this little video…and as the Lord leads, please pray as we seek to understand more of this curriculum, practice its methodology and look for ways to share it with others!

Spirit Reins

Fresh Look at the Past is another page on this website that offers help today for those with relationships that hurt.


Fresh Look at the Past

Just like the important individuals in our lives, circumstances and traumatic events of life shape us.  What one finds traumatic, another may not; this is personal feeling and is not right or wrong.  Healing comes by spilled milkplacing the past in the hands of Jesus.  There are folks who do that easily–but truly letting Jesus into the memories enlarges your capacity and understanding of His presence.  We cannot give to others what we have not received.  The more we accept of His love in the details–the more we have to give to others.

Current medical research finds that ‘unhealed’ childhood traumas surface in a vast array of medical issues.  In fact, studies indicate that 80-95% of all medical and psychological illnesses originate from unresolved trauma.  Christ still heals and He is the Mighty Counselor.  You can trust His love to re-frame anything you have, do or will face!  Consider which of the influences have impacted your life in the past (or in the present):

Family Fighting/Divorce
Alcohol/Drug Abuse
Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse/Rape
Illicit Sexual Activity (promiscuity, homosexuality)
Death of a loved one
Other addictions:  gambling, food, pornography
Abandonment (including adoption grief)
Other trauma:  fire, accident, major illness/injury etc

There is often fear involved with even looking at difficult things of the past.  That spirit of fear is a tool the enemy uses to hold you captive.  Discipleship Coaching aids in finding the treasures buried in the dark times; God never allows what cannot be transformed.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.  (1 John 4:18)

As you look at the INFLUENCES, write a list of the top three stressful influences in your life.  Prayerfully consider the following questions as you journey toward God in those areas.

  • What feelings rise up for each…list specific words as best you can.  If you need help with identifying (or being persuaded to feel emotions), visit:  Discipleship Coaching:  Emotions.
  • How did/does each experience influence how I see myself?
  • How does this experience influence how I relate to others?
  • How did/does this experience influence how I see God?

Finally, assess (on a scale of 1-10) how ‘healed’ do you feel from these experiences.  0 being “I feel the pain as sharply today as then”, 5 being “I survive” and 10 being “God is using this for great glory in my life.”
Life does not happen without hard, painful things.  In fact, the greatest opportunities lie in those dark times.  However, a barrier to blessing is unforgiveness.  True forgiveness is rare–and incredibly difficult.  It does not excuse wrong behavior but it does not use wrong behavior against another.  Forgiveness is the foundation of the Christian faith and such a major topic, it demands focused attention in its own right.

The forgiveness of Christ gives us life; our forgiveness of others is also life-giving.